In retrospect

Well on Tuesday Shutterbug and I will celebrate 2 years of being together. It's funny how it doesn't feel like it's only been 2 years. I guess it just feels longer considering all the crap we have been through together. Two years ago I was a broken woman who didn't know who she was and didn't know she fit in this world. Shutterbug was trying to fix the pieces of her broken heart. Together we found something in each other. It happened to be what we needed. We are a perfect combination of silly and serious, laughter and pain, joy and sorrow. But no matter what we have been through we always come out stronger and closer then ever before. Every time I look at her I fall more and more in love with her. She is my rock when I feel like I am drifting at sea. I look at her now and I think to myself, god I am so lucky to have her in my life. Happy 2 yr anniversary honey! I love you very very much and I am so glad to have you as my partner.

WTF?!!! why does this always happen

Why do people suddenly feel the need to confess that they had a crush on you, wanted to go out with you or in love with you when you are already in a relationship. I mean I can understand it's a safety thing cuz there is nothing you can do about it. But damn!!! I was seeing this girl back when I lived in KS we broke it off cuz her husband at the time was a major dick! Then she adds me back to her facebook page and she tells me she was in love with me back then but she didn't tell me cuz after what RJ put me through emotionally I swore off falling in love with another woman. So that she wouldn't feel rejected she didn't tell me. Now it's been almost 4 yrs later and she told me this last night. Sleep was so not an option last night. I told her that we both have people that love us and I am so in love with Shutterbug that no one can change that no even some chick that I broke it off with 4 yrs ago. Okay I feel better now

Finding love second time around

You know it's funny how I spent a decade with someone who never made me feel like an equal in their life. He always had to feel superior but now I have someone who treats me like an equal in every way. She makes me feel so wonderful and loved. She is someone who I can consider my partner. She is just so much fun to have in my life. I can be silly with her and it's ok. She encourages me to be myself and loves who I am. I wish I could be with her at night but I am looking forward to my life with her. It's funny how you find the love of your life the second time around after you get a divorce. I am thankful every day for this woman! I love you Shutterbug!!!

Xmas and other musings

Ok for the first time in a long time i have felt the xmas spirit now i am ready for some peace and quiet. Shutterbug will be here to spend new years with me. I love my neice but damn her mother does not teach her manners. She smacks when she eats and i always got fussed at for it when i was a kid. Damn. Oh and then the kicker my sister seems to think i am mad because she can have kids and i can't WTF sorry i am not envious in any way shape or form that she has a kid. im happy i don't have them see previous post. Xmas was fun but i want to just enjoy my vacation that starts this coming up tuesday after i get out of work!! im so ready for some time off to just chill with my girl and just relax. Since my sister has been here i have been very on edge. we have always had a tense relationship and some how i think it's best we really don't have much of one. the woman stayed drunk almost the entire time she was here. and i am the one that got called up tight cuz i don't feel the need to drink alcomahol to relax sorry there is much better and cheaper ways to do that. and much healther ways too. my god i saw this woman eat 2 heaping plate fulls of food every time she sat down to eat dinner. its sad really how she just let herself go.

Glad im not a mom

Here lately I have seen lots of people i know preggers and now have kids. A few whine because they can't have them. Im not one of them! I'm glad i can't have children. I can come and go as i please. no need to find a babysitter not diaper bags to pack no bottles to clean. No getting up at 3 am to feed or change a crying baby. I say don't whine or get all depressed cuz you can't have them be happy that you can't. You can live your life and do what ever you want to. enjoy the life you have with out children

Letting go

Well I have decided that it's time to let go the emotional baggage. This weekend my wonderful witchie friend is gonna help me in the healing process. It's time to let him go and move forward with my life with shutterbug. I have to stop thinking about the past and think about the here and now. I have to stop worrying about losing Shutterbug again. No one can tell us not to be together any more like he tried to do. She makes me so happy and I couldn't ask for a better partner. I have to stop thinking about the time I almost lost her because of his ass. Now I have her in my life and I am not letting her go.

Finding my way

Well here I am in my brand new life in Texas. Man it's so nice to finally feel at peace. I miss Shutterbug like crazy! I did get to see her over this past weekend omg that was the best. She has been so wonderful! She even helped me move here. I wouldn't have it any other way. My parents absolutely love her. We exchanged promise rings this past weekend as well. She makes me so happy. I'm glad to be out of that shitastic situation. It's funny I will worry about him ever once in a while but then I think what for it's not my problem any more. He actually wanted to talk last week. I think he is starting to realize what he lost. LMAO!!!! sucks to be him! I am loving life and I am grateful for those in it. Shutterbug and I are doing better then ever. We have such a strong connection and i am loving what i have with her.